I mentioned, before, that a few blogposts
will leave me at a loss for words. Nans Riffart, the last “obruni” (white and
non-Ghanaian) person I will write about definitely captures that. By nature,
Nans is one of the most caring, affectionate people I have ever known. In
Kumasi, he was my best friend, and I look forward to the day we will meet
again.
The first time I met Nans, I was jet-lagged
and my adrenaline was crashing fast. We were in the AFS bus at the Ghanaian
airport, and I had ask his name about ten times before I decided it must be
something like “Naunce.” I do not speak any French, and I am honored to have a
friend who was willing to speak my language to get to know me. As I spent some
time with him over the next few days, I was touched by his open nature.
Nans and I were placed at the same school.
I don’t think either of us could have realized the impact this would have on
both of us. We weren’t in the same class (we wanted to make Ghanaian friends,
after all), but we were able to meet during breaks to process our experiences
with Ghanaian culture. As time went on,
we talked about many pieces of life, physical and spiritual. We shared
countless laughs and I had the privilege of teaching him English words.
Before Ghana, I was a private person. Not
in the sense of introversion—I am an extrovert and always will be. In high
school, I kept secrets from my closest friends. I wanted no one to see my weak
points or my fears. I created myself instead of just living as I was. Maybe
that’s why I had so few close friends in those days.
It was Nans who changed that for me. He
learned things about me I was afraid to admit to myself. Because of that, I
found myself telling him things I hadn’t told people before. Perhaps, according
to the laws of social interaction in America, we weren’t supposed to talk
about such things. But Nans and I were not governed by rules.
He memorized my facial expressions. (I
recall him saying once: “Sarah, you’re wearing the expression you do when you
want me to think you’re happy, but you’re not. What’s going on?”) He was verbally
affectionate in a way none of my American friends had been since we were kids.
We traveled around Ghana together, Nans
and I. I especially remember our trip to the monkey sanctuary in the Brong-Ahafo
region. We got stuck in a city called Techiman during a pouring rainstorm and
made the best of it. Then we went out to the sanctuary, where we spent two days
scrambling around the forest, reading Biblical poetry, and practicing
meditation. Seeing wild monkeys up close for the first time was extraordinary.
In that place, I felt close to the Earth and to God.
Nans gave me a gift from that place, which
I will treasure forever. We were young, and strived to keep each other happy
that year in Ghana. I won’t pretend we always succeeded. We had our
misjudgments and our failures to support each other. But we tried so hard,
coming from a place of love.
Nans Fabrice Riffart, Kwame Agyeman, lover of
nature and humankind, you showed me how to be a friend. Whenever I find myself missing you, I remember that you want me to be happy where I am.